Welcome to the Prophecies of Despair, where we specialize in foretelling the exact worst-case scenario for any given situation. Our team of expert prognosticators have spent years honing their craft, and we're confident our predictions will leave you questioning every life choice you've ever made.
Click here for a prophecy tailored to your exact specifications.
Check out our most frequently requested prophecies:
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try:
Remember, our prophecies come with a 100% chance of despair.
Or, as we like to say, a 100% guarantee that you'll regret your life choices.